What Would Vihaan Do?

In our household, Dubsie’s cousin Vihaan has a sterling reputation. Rarely has there been such a good child. He is a role model at, for example, sitting in a high chair and eating food.

“If Vihaan were here, you know what he would do?” Mummy says to Dubsie, when Dubsie is hyper and un-hungry. “He would hold his milk in two hands and sip it down with one gulp.”

There are reports are that Vihaan is, just occasionally, not the saint we make him out to be. Some nights at dinnertime he races around the house hollering with a train in his hand, and his parents chase him with a spoon. But we’re not about to let some dumb facts stand between us and a role model.

The same goes for another cousin, Jade, who is world-famous for putting on sneakers and getting dirty outside. “Will you be like cousin Jade and go down the steps all by yourself and play on the sand?” we say.

Dubsie needs encouragement to get dirty because her bearing tends toward the regal. Other children sit in their high chairs; Dubsie presides. With one leg tucked daintily under herself, she attempts to decree whether she will have pasta or crackers, and whom will have the privilege of wielding the spoon.

Leave her without an attendant, though, it becomes clear that she is all thumbs at finger foods. Taking a bite out of something larger than a mouthful makes her look less than regal. She’ll try to absorb the whole enchilada — like a python attempting to swallow a Chihuahua.

We encourage more pedestrian ways by invoking Dubsie’s younger friend Tonita. Tonita is a picky eater, which we discourage, but we have observed that she most excellent at biting quesadillas.

“Bite it and pull it away… like Tonita!” Mummy says while offering a piece of cheesy tortilla. Evidence that we will stoop as low as biting competitions if it will give our parenting teeth.


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